Life threw me a curveball with fibromyalgia.  Now that I am ready to close out a whole chapter of my life, start a new one, I have to decide if I am going to let fibromyalgia rule the day, if it has to rule the day.  I am grateful for the fact that I worked and earned enough credits to qualify for SSDI, Medicare and Medicaid as needed.  However, now that I am ready to start a new chapter, move to NJ to be near family and live a more tranquil life without the crazy of the city, medicaid becomes an issue.  Each state runs its’ own medicaid program and you can’t see doctors in one state if your medicare is issued in another state.   Healthcare whether healthy or not needs to change to be patient centered and allow you to reside where you choose without restrictions and fear of losing any benefits simply because you move, have to make changes to your life.  That is the dream, but right now there is a hard reality.

If I choose to go to NJ, that means starting all over again with applying for medicaid etc…, but NYC is not quite affordable, unless I go into maybe an unsafe area, or I go upstate, and dire cold, and long commutes to go downtown for certain family events in the city and my great new doctors doesn’t appeal to me.  A tough decision that I am going to have to make, unless things shift financially in a big way and I don’t have to rely on government assistance.  I am hoping for a true bona fide miracle from the heavens, but at the same time have to think of the pros and cons of both sides of things and be ready to make a tough decision.  That is part of the being a grown up thing, making tough decisions, and understanding you may not get everything you want at any given time.  Something you have to work through and make balanced decisions.  Not that it is easy, but again, all part of being all grown up.